One of my greatest friends is in India right now..her second trip. I have some friends here in the US that always ask me "What's it like in India"? If you want to get a good perspective..read my friends entry from her blog today below..by the way, she is a kick a** writer! (btw..it's a long one but well worth it!!)



I have been accused of many things in my life but being patient isn't one of them. Nay - neither my friends nor my co-workers nor my family nor former lovers have ever said, "Hellotmf, you need to stop being so patient!" This is mainly because I've never had to be. I'm an only child, so as a child I never had to share or be patient with a sibling. I don't have a husband, and certainly no children, with which I have to be patient. And finally, my particular line of work is one that needed everything done yesterday, thus further perpetuating my no patience stance.Then I came to India - where patience really isn't optional unless you want to have a heart attack in the first five minutes. While the visual stimulation, excitement and beauty are unsurpassed here, everything you do and experience in this country is an exercise in patience. First and foremost, there is the language barrier. While the amount of English spoken here (as a result of the former British occupation) is far more than I had originally expected when I first came here in 2006, there is still a major barrier in the language's interpretation - even when spoken correctly. For you can have a conversation with a local in perfect English, and both you and the local will come out with a completely different interpretation. To give it a try go to India and ask for a cold bottle of water - you may actually get a cold bottle of water, or you may get a room temperature bottle, a vessel of filtered or boiled water, or a glass of water, or a pot of hot water for tea. It's a surprise each time - kind of like ordering "Chicken Tikka Masala", which is, in fact, different every time. Thus if you are really set on getting something specific and, more importantly, getting that item quickly, you may often be very disappointed or astoundingly surprised. In addition to the language and time issues, there is a general acceptance here for what we Americans refer to as a "lie". There is no such thing as a "lie" in this country - I reckon there is probably no word for it in their language. Nay - Indians often want more than anything to be helpful, so when they can't be, because perhaps they don't know the answer to your question, they often either make up an answer or otherwise improvise. On one of our free days, Leda and I were wandering around shopping and were ready to go back to the hotel. We found a young rickshaw driver, showed him the business card of the hotel and asked him if he knew where it was - he said yes. We agreed on a price and got in the infamous "tuk-tuk". What should have been a 15 minute ride turned into an hour and a half tour of the entire city of Jaipur as our driver drove all around asking other rickshaw drivers where the hotel was. Of course they probably didn't know either, and didn't want to say they didn't know, so in same futile attempt to be helpful, they also gave our driver the wrong directions.We eventually made it back to the hotel. Our driver was mortified and embarrassed - and while it is easy for us to judge and say, "Why didn't he just say he didn't know where the hotel was," the fact remains that this driver needs to eat and make money too. He probably has a family to support, perhaps a dowry to pay for his sisters wedding or some other circumstance - and if he were honest and told us he didn't know where the hotel was, he knew we would go and find another driver that did, thus losing the income. And as frustrating as it was, I reckon he learned a lot about the city on that drive - and I know he'll never forget where the Jai Niwas hotel is ever again.Another mental note a traveller to India must make is that multi-tasking is just not something that is done here. I found this out a few nights ago after crossing the border from Nepal to India. I approached the front desk of the border town hotel, with two people behind it, both ready to serve me, and said that I would like to check in to my room and also change my money from Nepalese Rupees to Indian Rupees. In America, one person would instinctively check me into my room and the other would begin the currency change process. Instead, both attendants just looked at me, gaping - as if they had both just contracted a severe case of The Dumb. I sighed, resigned myself to the fact that this was going to be a bit of a long ordeal (mind you, I had just spent 8 hours in a loud, overcrowded, no-AC local bus), put my hands on the counter and patiently said, "Okay - let's check me into my room first," Another 45 minutes later both transactions were done.When I got to my room I sat on my bed and thought about what had just happened. Why it is that I, and supposedly my fellow countrymen, are able to do so much more in so little time? Did I and the rest of the west have some superpower abilities that were superior to that of these parts of the world? And if so, did these multi-tasking/high work efficiency methods actually serve us any better? Sure - when we're at a restaurant in New York we get our food faster and subsequently get ourselves out of there faster - but more often than not we end up with indigestion issues and other such things. Watch a half hour of TV in the US with all it's new IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) medication and Activia yogurt commericals and you'll see that Americans aren't taking their time to eat properly, and thus their digestion system is constantly being taxed. We suffer from ADD from lack of attention to one thing, anxiety, depression, and fatigue from long, hard days that result in maladies ranging from heart problems to falling asleep at the wheel - are we*REALLY* better off moving at such a fast, efficient pace? And if so, then why the hell did I elect to come here for an ENTIRE MONTH?I don't know all the answers - all I know is that I am aware of the struggle and need for the balance between acting efficiently and taking the time to just going with the flow of life - and sometimes accepting, even embracing, taking the time to do things slowly when it matters. In addition to approach and pace of life, there are a myriad of other constant patience testing drama to deal with in India - from chronic unpredictable power outages to traffic (usually due to a herd of unmoving cattle in the road) to long queues at tourist attractions in the high season to the amalgamation of delays for everything from flights to trains to food preparation. Culturally, there are other annoying issues to deal with as well - like invasion of privacy. For it is not in the least bit taboo for someone, man or woman, to ask you where you are going, what you are doing, why are you are doing it, are you married, do you have children, why aren't you married with children, how much money did that cellphone cost, where are you staying, is anyone staying with you, why are you walking alone, etc. While these types of questions would be considered invasive, even rude, in the west, it is just their way of life to ask it here. They have no concept of privacy, because for whatever reason, they just don't need it. Privacy is without a doubt a western convention (one that I happen to like - but I digress!) And since most of the locals here have never been foreigners themselves - and likely never will be - they don't know or understand what it's like to be continuously prodded by strangers for weeks on end about personal matters, gaped and stared at, followed and endlessly solicited for money. All of this said, one may wonder how it is that I can stay in this country for nearly a month and not go mental with all its inefficiency, ambiguity, lack of tact and overall lack of predictability. A year ago I would deal with it by just being irritated and pushing through the annoyances as quickly as possible, probably stressing poor locals out. But now I recognize that one must just go with it, and I've picked up a few rules of thumb as aids to help along the way. First and foremost, one must allow for much more time that originally anticipated for absolutely everything. Second, when dealing with locals, one must try to be empathetic and recognize that their behavior, like say lying or asking what invasive questions, isn't because they are bad people - it is just their way here. They aren't asking anything that most of us haven't thought - and you're under no obligation to answer. They are "doing the needful", as they say here - being curious and trying to be helpful, even if it really isn't. And when speaking to the locals, you must speak slowly and phrase sentences in such a way that ensures a clear and concise answer, preferably in a few words or less. This has little to do with intellect or language issues as it does that often locals don't understand what kind of information foreigners are looking for to begin with, and if left with no concise guidance, they will often give you a bunch of useless information. And when receiving such information, one must *really* use their gut feel to ascertain if the information received is actually correct or if just another improvisation - and when truly in doubt, ask someone else to see if the stories correlate. And most importantly, always, *always* take a rickshaw driver that is over or around the age of 35 - if they're much younger, they haven't been driving around long enough to know the city. In short, here one must recognize the culture for what it is - not right, not wrong - it just is what it is, and a traveller must deal with it the best way he / she can. And just when you think you have India pegged as slow, inefficient and often backwards it will again surprise you - as I finished dinner at the hotel restaurant that evening I crossed the border from Nepal to India, I was paying my bill and a young gentleman approached me with my room key - I had left it at reception (as they often request that you do), and he went downstairs to get it for me while I was eating so I didn't have to. Now I was the one looking at this young man, gaping - as though I had contracted a severe case of The Dumb. Finally, one thing I have learned here is that when I settle down, accept that I must be patient, and go with the flow, things seem to go much easier - it doesn't seem as though I'm swimming against the current of life. To do so takes too much energy, which could be put to far better use, like enjoying the process and the country I'm in, and this way, it ensures that everyone keeps on smiling. :-)